You Must Hate Your Father and Mother

Luke 14:25-35

I think Jesus must have missed the class at theological college where they learnt about church growth strategies.

Isn’t it striking that Jesus is apparently not trying to build a large crowd?

Many today who are preaching, want to build a large crowd.  And we may be tempted to do just about anything that can be done to get a large crowd.

When you think about the example of Jesus, on many occasions, he turns and addresses an increasingly large gathering, with essentially this, “I’m not sure that you folk are really picking up on what it means to become my follower and so I want to tell you again what it means, in case any of you would like to slip away.”

When he does that on one occasion, the crowd begins to slip away en-masse until he reduces the number to 12, and then he looks at each of his disciples in the eye, and he says, “What about you fellas, do you want to leave as well?”

Not exactly what you would say is the contemporary strategy for church growth thinking – where we reduce everything we do and think and say and believe to the lowest common denominator, agreeable to everyone so that we can get as large a number as we possibly can.

No could accuse Jesus of soft-pedalling, of obscuring the issues just to build a crowd, of putting the tough parts of what it means to be a Christian in the small print buried, tucked away at the back of the brochure.

Now that’s the kind of thing the devil does when he’s recruiting people.  The devil goes out and he says, “Have I got a deal for you!  If you will follow me, I can introduce you to life, and I can introduce you to happiness, and I can introduce you to freedom.”

His appeals are so extensive that many sign up.

If you were to read the fine print, you’d discover that they’re actually being introduced to death, and to pain, and to bondage.

Jesus puts the tough bits right at the very top of the list.  In fact, Jesus is so straight forward about this, some of us wince when we read his words.

Why would he do that?

Well the answer is simple.  Jesus doesn’t want people to follow him for the wrong reasons.

Many people do that and all who follow him for the wrong reasons, sooner or later, give up.  They abandon the Christian faith; they turn their back on Jesus.

That’s damaging, because:

• They themselves are hardened against the gospel.  They say, “I tried Christianity and it didn’t work.”
• The church is discouraged.  Here are people who seem to be Christians and then they fall away – that’s disheartening.
• The cause of Christ is brought into disrepute.  So many people professing to be followers of Jesus but, really, they aren’t.  What a sham!

However, when that happens, we can’t put the blame onto Jesus, ‘you didn’t tell us what it would be like; you lied to us about what it would mean to be a Christian’.

Jesus is not calling for anyone here to make a commitment you don’t really mean; or to believe in a Saviour you don’t really know; or to start out on a way of life you don’t really understand.

In fact, Jesus is not really interested in spectators.  He’s looking for recruits.

Unless the curiosity of these people that are part of the crowd gives way to commitment, then what he tells them is, quite frankly, “You cannot be my disciples.”

He makes 3 separate statements as to why these people can’t be his disciples.

Three times he says you cannot be my disciple.

(1)

First of all he says it at the end of v26.  He precedes that by pointing out that unless you are loyal to Jesus before everyone else and everything else, you cannot be his disciple.

The way in which he speaks is forceful in the extreme, and obviously Jesus chooses to speak in this way to make the point.

Nobody is in any doubt because of what would have been the immediate reaction to it.

Look at it. “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, even his own life, he flat-out cannot be my disciple.”

Now, some of the people were standing there with their wives.  Some of them had brought their children along.  They loved their children.  That’s why they had brought them, because they loved them so much they wanted them to hear this Jesus, and perhaps become a follower of Jesus.

What’s Jesus getting at here?

Wasn’t it Jesus who said love your enemies.  So is Jesus saying you must love those who are against you, but hate your mums and dads?  And what if your enemies are your parents?  Then you’re in a predicament.

We mustn’t be silly about it of course.  Jesus is using terminology of his time.  What he’s doing is drawing a comparison.

Nor must we water-down what Jesus is saying either.

What he is saying in this: that our love for Jesus, our devotion to Jesus, our commitment to Jesus, our loyalty to him is to be so great, take such priority, that even our best love for our spouse, or our earnest longing for our children, or our genuine interest in our own physical wellbeing, will actually be seen to look like total disregard or hatred in comparison.

In Pilgrim’s Progress, when Pilgrim, having read in the book, he stirred concerning his sins.  And as a result of that he begins to run away from his house.

And Bunyan writes: so I saw in my dream that the man began to run.  He had not run far from his door when his wife and children perceiving it began to cry after him to return.

He loved his wife.  He loved his kids.  They’re at the door.  What are you doing?  Would you leave us behind for Christ?

And the man put his fingers in his ears and run on crying, “Life, life, eternal life.”

If you’ve got a girlfriend or boyfriend that can prevent you from being a disciple of Jesus, run away.

If you’ve got a job that can keep you from undying commitment to Jesus, your job means too much to you.

If you have a member of your family who so consumes your affections, attentions, activities so to leave you with only marginal efforts to think about Jesus, then friends, what Jesus is saying is that you can call into question if you really are a genuine disciple of Jesus.

It’s not that Jesus said, you know, if anybody doesn’t do this he’s not going to be a very good disciple.  That would be one thing.  You know, you’re going to be marginal.

No, he says, you cannot be my disciple.

If you’re going to put these concerns first, if anyone or anything and even your own life, means more to you than I do, then you can’t be my disciple.

How different is this from the average way in which we suggest that people might become a follower of Jesus today?

Let me ask you a question: do you think it’s possible to know the benefits of Jesus’ salvation without actually worshipping him as Lord?  Is it possible to enjoy the blessings of knowing you’re a saved child of God without submitting to Jesus as Lord and God?

Well, many people today will say, yeah sure.

They’re right, you can.  As long as you don’t read Luke 14, or the many other passages like it.

So, don’t say to someone it’s easy to become a Christian, because it’s not.  It’s simple, trust and love Jesus.  It’s not complicated.  But it’s not easy.

You can’t have your old loyalties as well as Jesus.

Jesus is using arresting language to make it clear, it doesn’t work like that.

Friends, remember, this is the kindest shepherd whoever lived speaking.  This is the one who by his death gives life.  This is the one who leaves all of eternity to come to our time-space capsule in order that he might declare the grace of God to sinful men and women, and boys and girls.

He says, I want you to understand.

Do you love your life more than you love Jesus?

There’s a monument in Oxford to commemorate the burning of Ridley, Latimer, and Hooper.

Nicholas Ridley was born in 1503.  He was distinguished as a student.  He became a member of the faculty of the university.  A fellow of Pembrooke Hall.  He was a chaplain to the university from 1532 and he was the Master of Pembrooke from 1540.

Something happened to him along the way as he began to read his Bible.  He started to read his Bible and he had real doubts about some things being done in the church.

In 1540 he becomes chaplain to Henry the 8^th    and in circumstances later he comes into direct collision with Queen Mary.

You’ll have to read the rest of the story for yourself, but what happens to him is that they burn him at the stake in the centre of Oxford.

In Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, the conversation is recorded between Ridley and Latimer as they’re tied together at the stake, as they prepare them for burning.

It says: and then they brought a light to kindle the fire and laid it down at Dr Ridley’s feet, to whom Latimer spoke in this manner.  “Be of good comfort master Ridley, and play the man.  We shall this day light a candle by God’s grace in England, as I trust shall never be put out.”

Why would anyone do that?

He took seriously what Jesus said.

“If you’re more loyal to something or someone other than me”, says Jesus, “you can’t be my disciple.”

(2)

Secondly, he says, unless you’re actually prepared to carry your own cross, v27, you can’t be my disciple either.

Now his listeners would have been familiar with the scene of a small detachment of roman soldiers arriving in a village, coming and beating on the door of a house – the sorrow scenes as a family parted with the man of the home.

The man was then given the cross-beam of the place of his execution, which he was then to carry with him.  And as he picked up his cross and went off with those soldiers, everyone around would be looking at him and saying to one another, “That man is on a one-way journey.  He’s not going to be coming back, because he has actually picked up the implement of his own destruction.  Dead man walking.”

It’s a moment of ultimate self-denial.  And what Jesus says in 9:23, is that this moment is every day.

He said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

The cross-bearing of yesterday is gone.  It’s today.  Maybe you had a great day yesterday you know, but today’s the day.

The cross-bearing of today will give way to a new tomorrow, and tomorrow Jesus says, I want you to take up your cross.

This is not some silly thing like denying yourself chocolate or whatever else it is.  It’s an invitation to change what you desire.  Instead of your desires being about what makes you look good, they’re to be about what shows the goodness of Jesus.

I don’t know about you but I find that very hard.

(3)

Unless you’re loyal to Jesus above everyone and everything else you can’t be his disciple.  Unless you’re prepared to take up your cross you cannot be his disciple.

Then thirdly, in v33, So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

Unless you renounce all…  What does “all” mean?

The mother tells the child, “Go tidy up all the things in your room.”  “What do you mean by “all” things?”  “All means everything.”  “What does ‘every’ thing mean?”  “I mean the whole lot.  Every single little item that’s out and as it appears you have time to start a debate on the etymology of the word ‘all’, you can tidy your sister’s room too.”

Jesus says “all”.  What do you mean all?

“I mean everything, your money, your stuff, your family, everything that your heart clings to, that gives you significance, and gives you security, I want you to give all that up.  In fact, if you don’t, you can’t be my disciple.”

Now that may mean the very literal expression of this, as it has in some people’s lives.

Not everybody does that.

So what does it mean to “renounce”?

“It does not mean that a person must sell all of his possessions, or give all his money away, or desert his dear ones and become a hermit or beggar or wanderer.  But it does mean that he must give Christ total control over his whole life with everything that he is and all that he possesses.  He places all at Christ’s disposal, that he might be inwardly free from worldly-mindedness, covetousness and selfishness.”

“I’m not playing second fiddle to your spouse.  I’m not playing second fiddle to your job.  I’m not playing second fiddle to your family.”

See how radical this is?  Becoming a Christian isn’t just, well I’ll add Jesus to my list of things I’m into.

No, Jesus is saying it’s all or nothing.  He speaks in this way to shake us out of a kind of false, ineffectual form of Christianity.

Now, can I make a qualification here?

We read this stuff and most of us are saying, well that pretty much clears out the whole building as far as I can make out.

Jesus is not talking about perfection.  He’s not saying, you’ve got to get everything 100% right, or you’re off the team.

He’s not talking about perfection but he is talking about direction.

Is the direction you’re going Jesus and Jesus alone?  And are you willing to do whatever it takes, give up whatever it takes to go in this direction?

Going in this direction will be costly.

That’s why he gives these two little pictures of counting the cost.

He says, “I want you to count the cost.  I don’t want you to just wander willy-nilly into my path, get caught up in the thing.

“Think about it.  If one of you was going to build a tower, you’d sit down and do the cost estimates, wouldn’t you?  Otherwise you’d look really dumb when you’ve only got enough money to build the foundation, and then it just sits there looking ridiculous, and everybody says, ‘he started but he couldn’t finish’.”

Having had a house that was half-finished for about 3 years, I know some of the comments that passers-by can make, and even though it wasn’t our fault, the embarrassment of it all.

“Or if you’re a king and you’re going to war and you know that the odds are stacked against you, don’t you sit down and figure out, is it possible for us to win this war, and if not shouldn’t we take some intervention now rather than face annihilation then.”

He says, “You know that kind of thing.  Well then apply that some kind of logic to considering what it means to follow me.”

Again, how different from the way in which we may be tempted to sweep men and women into the crowd without having them sit and know the cost.

Don’t just run in.  I may ask you to pay the ultimate price.

How?

Remember, it’s not perfection that Jesus is calling us to.  But it is the direction of our lives.  When you become a Christian, the direction of your life changes.

That’s not easy.  So how can we do it?

1. Count the cost

To be a disciple of the world and sin costs incalculably more than the cost of being a disciple of Jesus.  You think it’s tough to be a disciple of Jesus?  Go ahead and stay a disciple of sin.

There is hell to pay.  Not only will it squeeze the very life out of you as you seek to follow down these dead-end streets, but eventually you will spend all of eternity in darkness and lostness.

And still the invitation of the devil in the large print is, “Come follow me to life and freedom and don’t let any of these crazy people that are into Jesus and the Bible manage to snare you and trap you into a life of impoverishment and dullness.  Dreadful experience.  No, come and follow me.”

Well, some of you have been down there and you know it’s a dead-end street.  And how insignificant is the price of self-renunciation in Christ’s service in comparison with the price paid for rejecting him.

It is a big price to accept him.  It’s a bigger price to reject him.

Which is why, if you’re a Christian, you should never envy an unbeliever.

1. Remember the reward

There is a great reward for following Jesus.  What is it?

The reward for following Jesus is that you get … to follow Jesus.

You get Jesus.  The King of kings and Lord of lords.  The one who is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, who upholds the universe by the word of his power and he says, come to me, come to me and I will keep you safe.

Even if it costs you your life, you’re infinitely ahead.

If you’re a Christian, you should never envy an unbeliever.

Remember Matthew 13:44, which says, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up.  Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”  A man sees and sells everything he has — everything he has! — to get that treasure.  In other words, all the so-called costs and all the so-called losses — everything — are nothing compared to the gains of having Jesus, the greatest treasure.

Jesus is so great – do whatever it takes.

Our heavenly father, we can’t do any of the things we’ve spoken about this morning on our own – being loyal to Jesus above all else, changes our desires to be about his glory not ours, and giving up whatever it might take to do that.  And so we pray, by your grace, enable us to say with the apostle Paul, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord”.